I haven’t blogged for a long time, not because I don’t have things to say, but because I don’t really have the time to seat down and put them into a blog entry. Too little time and energy for myself. Now, I’m actually cutting what little of my relaxation time to do this.
The reason for this all? My work.
I’ve always tried avoiding talking about my work. What I work as is kind of sensitive and I would much rather just sum it all up as Customer Service. Because essentially, that’s what my job is about. Unfortunately, that’s not all there is to it. And sometimes, I really hate my customers. But this is not a rant about them. I have ranted about them verbally for enough times that I’m sick of it myself.
I am at one of those points in life where a person poured in so much into something, to try to make it better, to try to make it work, that for a period of time, there’s almost nothing left for that person him/herself. Feeling tired down to the bone, and forcing the brain to work when all it wants to do is shut down and rest, almost no time for family and other forms of relaxation because dear god, sleeping time is so precious.
And I’m not the only one, my close colleagues are all facing the same thing. At least one of them has put in far more than I am able to too.
Now… I’m wondering if something will come out of all these. Something nice, positive. Will we be recognized for what we are doing? More like… the age old question of… is all that we are doing going to be worth it? I really don’t know how I… how we will be able to take it if all that we have done is for nothing.
We still have more to do. All I can do now is hang in there and do my best, and hope for the good. Too much crap has happened and I am too disheartened to even be able to hope for the best. Just please… let all this be worth it. We all need this to work.